How to keep working

Goodness gracious. First of all - I quit playing games. Forever. I still get tempted everyday, every minute. I watch some game videos online. But no, I'm never letting myself sucked into those games again.

I'm at Maryland right now. Woot. I'm so happy to be seeing my family again, to be in the peaceful state that is Suburban America. Being at home is a fantastic feeling. I never want to go outside again.

So now I have really thought about a few things, but I still have trouble motivating myself, overcoming that laziness. It seems that every time I think of a new thing to do, I have a habit of immediately thinking to myself, I can't do it. Is it a habit?

If so, I need to overcome it. I've always wondered why, after all these years, it was so much easier for me to do those "jobs" on those games, than it was for me to do them in real life. Maybe it's because those jobs are easier. Maybe it's also because using your brain is hard. Maybe it's also because the rewards that you get in those games are much better than just doing a task in real life and seeing no reward (in the short period).

So how do I motivate myself? I know that, this has always been my problem. I feel that if I can motivate myself to do anything at any time that I want to, I will be able to achieve ANYTHING. So why haven't I done this yet? Am I too scared of failure, of using my brain, I mean come on...

Here's to hoping I can overcome this newfound laziness. I feel like it has been something that has contaminated me for all these years, and its aftereffects will be felt long after. In order to fight... I have to really put my mind into it. It's going to be hard.

I wish I had a personal trainer... but I don't. I have to do this myself, I have to overcome all of my fears, by myself.

Let's go.